Weight Shaming

This is going to be an unpopular opinion, I know this, and I am glad that there’s probably only a few who have aimlessly wandered here for that reason. But, well, here goes since it’s this or think of things that make me sad; we have, at least in North America, yet to have a song that fosters positive body image.

I hardly hear the cries of, “What about All About That Bass?” No. Why? Because it still outs down one group of people and it also says that you should be proud of your weight solely because that’s what guys like. And that’s generalizing to all men, too, though I will say I have noticed a trend where men seem to gravitate to woman with more on them. Don’t get me wrong either, it’s great to be saying that bigger girls are attractive to guys, but there’s not much of a ‘be proud of you are just because’ message there. And, again, it kind of says that no one wants people who are naturally thin, which is like a punch to the heart if you’re someone like me who likes guys, is thin, and has been made fun of for her weight before.

Yes, skinny shaming exists just as much as fat shaming. *Gasp*

I’ve read the comments on some articles that pick apart Megan’s song, some saying that the ‘just kidding’ after ‘skinny bitches’ somehow negates that (It doesn’t. It’s backhanded, least to me.), others saying that there are plenty of songs about thin women, so just give this to the bigger girls. No, see, the songs about thinner women (though I’ve never exactly heard any song that says anything explicitly about thinner women, point some out if I’m wrong) are probably simply objectifying, not about loving your body.

I’m not trying to be a hypocrite and say you shouldn’t care what guys think (assuming you’re heterosexual), since I know I care more than I probably should, but you should love your body because it is your’s, no one else’s. My weight is a sore point for me since I was young, where people made the most fun of me and where it hurt me the most in those tender, formative years, so hearing songs that say no one wants a thin girl (do not get me started on “Anaconda”, since that is just offensive to every group – yes, guys, too – mentioned in that song.) hurts me and reminds me of when those boys would be jerks and say rude things on my looks, especially my weight. And, again, if you’re like me, you probably have had a doctor ask if you are anorexic and test for thyroid problems, like there is something naturally wrong with you because of your smaller size. Songs that look down on any weight can bring up bad thoughts, even if only in the back of the person’s mind, from time to time simply because of past experiences.

So, what everyone needs is a song that is about a true positive body image; no shaming of any weight, no insinuating that you should judge your value based on what whatever gender your attracted to thinks (though it is nice when said gender thinks you look good, just don’t have that be your sole decider), but just straight forward body positivity. If you took certain things from Megan’s song, it would be perfect. But as it stands, it lacks something. Yes, it’s good if it makes someone feel better about themselves, but it could still go a bit of a way to make it be helpful to a larger group.

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ntdc
    Oct 17, 2014 @ 14:16:16

    it´s on the radio here too now, so I heard it, but, apart from that, while I like the voice the music isn´t really my thing – it´s a song, like a book, a work of art, to write the text like that is her, or the texter´s, freedom of expression as an artist, if she herself claims it´s purpose is to give a good body feeling to everyone, ok, no good idea probably, but if she simply wrote/performed a song, well. probably the discussion about it keeps it in the interest and the radio mostly more than the contents, at least I hope it´s just that and not simply the money that is in such things. women are crazy, you know 😛 making a song responsible for feeling good or bad about your bodies is a weird idea.

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    • Deidre
      Oct 18, 2014 @ 02:36:20

      Women are crazy, hm, I tend more to the thought that it’s men 😛 But I’ll leave you to think that lol
      And it’s not so much the song on it’s own, but…other factors playing in. Sure, maybe I, and others who share my opinion, are overreacting (much like I think that people who claim Barbie makes girls feel bad about their bodies and give unrealistic expectations are being silly themselves) but if you put the song and add in a pre-existing negative feeling about one’s body and other external factors, then song -does- add to a bad feeling about your body. As for the good feeling, much like the bad, little things can bring you up or down. And if you are someone who listens to lyrics, takes their meanings in, then it can give you a positive or negative outlook. Music and song has been a very big thing in getting messages across since forever, so, yes, while less people listen to things for their meaning nowadays it seems, the meaning -is- still affecting to some. Not all, but some, in a negative or positive aspect, just like art or a book can make you really feel -some-thing, a song has the same capability.
      It’s not solely responsible, but it is a contributing factor, at least from my POV/in my opinion as strange as it may sound.
      I mean, for the most part, I like the song, the beat y’know. Just not the message. And I listen to song messages, so I can’t listen tot eh song, unfortunately.

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      • ntdc
        Oct 18, 2014 @ 07:27:08

        I see your point. I listen to lyrics too, you know. and art is to make you think, among other things. But if I listen to a song or read a book or magazine that’s negative about men or humans in general or says this or that about something I am or have or am not or have not, and there are plenty, that’s still no reason to give that one song or book so much power. its not the truth, it’s one song or one book or mag and there are others. If it bothers so much that one is offended maybe it’s good then to think and do something, like writing a song oneself approves of or a book, or blog, to put ones differing opinion out there, to talk to others, and you say you read comments and you wrote a blog so obviously there’s discussion going, and it’s a purpose of art too to make think, to polarize in cases innate to the matter or on purpose to attract more attention, to maybe change minds and so on. Most fabricsoftener-laundered songs probably won’t do that. that song in pleasing to everyone version might have given even more people a few minutes of feeling better with their body for a month, but I doubt it would have solved the deeper and omnipresent issues that made people or dislike it. I bet a year’s income that all the ‘lose x kilos in x days’ mags won’t dissappear from the shelves after this song, and generally there’s lots of calling people too fat and too thin only if they really look anorexic, and that probably out of worry mostly. let the ones with more ass have a break the duration of a song and write a book with an awesome skinny heroine so the other camp can have their break too 🙂 in the end, if one song like this bothers anyone really much it’s not the song, it’s deeper and no politically correct song alone will change that. As well…A guy who liked big booties before this song will continue to do so, one who didn’t will still like a smaller booty. it’s a song.

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  2. ntdc
    Oct 18, 2014 @ 13:44:10

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LJ6Z3dSh5c 😉
    I know, I looked at the lyrics 😉 it’s not really comparable as it doesn´t say bad things about ‘the fat bitches’ (but that´s maybe only cause it´s from 1980 or something when songwriters were more polite ;)) but while it´s positive about skinny girls in a funny song way, it still is positive and light and there -is- at least 1 song about skinny girls 😉

    the real sadness I see is that someone can sing or write about fat girls or skinny girls, about brown-eyed or blue-eyed girls, about girls with curly or with straight hair, and always there will be some who feel hurt, it´s a matter of self-acceptance, and not exclusive to girls and women, people need to make their peace with who and how and what they are, so the reality becomes one of less prejudice and shaming and hurt, but I think while influences from outside, past experiences and other things do help and hinder, that´s mainly an internal step to make.

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  3. Deidre
    Oct 20, 2014 @ 01:09:25

    Of course self-acceptance isn’t exclusive to girls and women, anyone who thinks that is being silly. And yes, such things are an internal step, true, but…still external forces and all that pushing make sit difficult at times. Even if, yes, best to ignore them as possible.
    But, else, okay, I’m going to concede for now since you -do- have a lot of points for me to mull over. I still see such things having some sort of negative impact, so that’s not changed, but, like I said, you’ve good points and I can accept your argument makes sense. And you may be right on a lot of it, which takes a lot for me to admit 😛
    Will listen to the song once I’m not at work (they don’t’ like us using headphones when at the desk unfortunately). But nice to know you managed to dig something up lol
    So, yes, it’s right to not give something so much power, even if it can be difficult to do so. I’ll agree with..at least half your points, and you -may- have changed my opinion at least slightly 🙂

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    • ntdc
      Oct 20, 2014 @ 05:51:24

      That’s fine, I didn’t want to win an argument or sway your opinion, just give another perspective on the thing, as it will hardly be the last time you’ll hear something like that just as it hardly will be the last time most girls will envy the thin ones. I’m thinking about the concept of shaming itself generally now, how far its natural, hiw far induced, what uts goid for and so on, interesting, probably psychology has to say much to that. But I won’t put my thoughts to -that- here now, better get to work so I won’t have to be ashamed (too much) for not doing my papers on time 😉

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      • Deidre
        Oct 21, 2014 @ 03:40:38

        No, I understand, that makes sense of course 🙂 And yea, it’s…shaming in general is a big thing with so many factors involved that, yes, I’m sure psychology has a -lot- to say with that lol Yes, please, do not end up ashamed of you not doing your papers on time 😛

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  4. ntdc
    Oct 20, 2014 @ 05:55:48

    I’m ashamed for my fingers not having evolutioned their way to cellphone keyboard compatibility now :p need to keep an eye on the closeness of i and o and u apparently 😉

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