So, I’m older today. The funny part is, I think this is the first time I ever actually feel older. Any other birthday, even the ‘milestones’, I’ve never felt anything other than ‘oh, it’s my birthday’. I didn’t do anything today besides spend some quality time with myself, helped along by class being canceled, which is something I rather enjoy compared to being around people.

It’s definitely not my being alone that had me feel older for once in my good amount of years. I think the reason behind this is there having been quite a bit of change from how my life had been previously. Before, every year ticked off was rather identical to the last one with very few changes to my daily life. I’m not really speaking about having moved, even though that is a big change, but I think it deals more with my inner changes.

As I had mentioned, I am, in general, more happy. I also have managed to cultivate new friends, who have probably influenced me a bit in ways I cannot pinpoint. But it’s mostly the happy part that I think is important here. I say that because that is a major change, and growing older is supposed to be a collection of changes. Since I never had big changes in my life, my age didn’t seem to matter, but now it is different.

I think I like this feeling, though, the feeling of there being some sort of change is nice. I rather hope this keeps up for the coming years, even if I’m not optimistic on it, I still hope.



I’m feeling…hm, I don’t know how to explain it. Melancholy? Nostalgic? Don’t know. All I do know is that I’m feeling like crying. I’m not alone either; a friend, who I’ll call ‘B’ for ease’s sake, that I hung out with today was feeling the same way, too. Quite a few of my friends have the same plan as me, a few years of community college then off to a four year. Others are still sticking with community college for a bit longer but, for the most part, we’re all…moving on. Four year college or military for the most part. And most of these colleges are at least four hours away from our hometown, if not longer.

What my mind has wandered to is a group of friends of mine who I’ve known since seventh grade, a few girls, B included, who mean so very much to me. I happened to find an old scrapbook I tried keeping and so many silly little things, including a game a friend of mine and I made up. Not to mention my awkward middle school and up school IDs. I also found some old pictures that brought the memories rushing back to me. I’m going to share one, and I warn you, it’s from middle school…so to say we looked young and awkward is an understatement. B and I, besides wandering downtown after coffee and scones/muffins, then heading to the mall, were very much so reminiscing of how, a group of four of us used to wander a different, smaller mall. God, we were so…silly. But there was a photo booth and we used it a few times, and I have two little things from it.


Photo Booth EDIT

Yea, that’s one. Like I said, awkward children. Though, well, we’ve grown up since then, obviously. But it still brings back so many memories. B and another friend, who I’ll refer to as A, are both in the picture with me and there was another girl in our middle school group who I’ll call J. There was a lot of time killed at that mall. We’d run around, being silly children, and…well, do as children do. We thought we were so grown up, our parents letting us go to the mall so often on our own. It was just…freedom. We once tried playing hide and seek in Macy’s, not to mention we found out I could fit in a tote. And J had once brought a blow up swimming pool from the bottom shelf of Target and put it on the floor and sat in it. We were weird to say the least. But we had fun. I remember not really being the type to go out with friends before I met those three girls. J, though, was the most outgoing of us all, and she helped us all come out of our shells, really. A was more like me, and B, while shy, was more social more… Well, she was a lot like the smart, popular girl. Especially as she got older and into high school. Unfortunately A had ended up moving across the country and, I’ll admit, I haven’t kept in touch with her as much as I would like to, but it happens. Maybe I’ll try to soon, least Facebook can help that much.

But we grow up. Our groups of friends change, and I cannot count how many times in my life friends have moved on, as have I. But with these three, two now, it’s different. When A moved away freshman year of high school, I cried. I was going to miss her because, as I said, out of our group, she was most like me. And, now, I’m crying again for a whole other reason. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to be able to meet new people and all that, but I’m going to miss J and B. They impacted my life in a huge way. I can still remember J telling me on a chorus trip about how she was bi and about this girl she liked; I still remember Halloween, my last trick-or-treating Halloween, with B. We were dorks, each of us to the last drop, but we loved each other. And still do. Even if we don’t talk as much as we used to, when we do it’s like we never stopped.

So, yes, I’m feeling a bit sad because I know my friend set is about to go through some upheaval again and, as good as that is, I’m going to miss being close to these girls. It takes a lot for me to really, truly count somehow as a friend, but after so many years…how could I not count these two as them? But, well, we grew up. We grew up and now it’s time for us to grow out. We count as adults now, and we actually look like women instead of awkward children.

I think it’s starting to hit me that I’m leaving now. Next week I’ll be gone, and I can only hope that I’ll find new friends as wonderful as the ones I’m leaving behind.


Changing Heros

    Any of you who have any attachment to superheros probably knows about the news that has been happening recently on three of them; two comic-book wise, and another movie-wise. But, if you didn’t either grow up with comic books either by your choice or because you happened to have a dad like mine, then perhaps you aren’t as ‘savvy’…unless you watch late night talk shows. I know Jimmy Fallon has mentioned…two of these, I think. In any case, as a summary, Thor (the Norse-god with the hammer) is now to be a girl in the comics; Captain America (super old super solider) is to be black; and Wonder Woman has a whole new look for the Superman vs. Batman movie.

    Now, I’m all for wanting more diversity in the superhero world, but changing these ‘classic’ characters? I’m not sure how I feel about this. With Thor, he’s a Norse god. GOD. God implies guy. I know, they’re planning the story line to be something with him losing his powers or so, maybe Odin claiming him unworthy, and some other woman being able to pick up the hammer and ‘become’ Thor by default, since only Thor can pick up the hammer. I think if they want a new Thor-like character, they can just pick another Norse goddess and make her into a hero, yes? Sure, that might be argued to be ‘only’ giving Thor a female counterpart, but last I checked he already does. She’s not a ‘major’ player, but still. Thor is a guy, not a girl

    Now, for the black Captain America. The story is, from what I hear, to be something with the current CA having his powers drained and then training Sam Wilson AKA Falcon (who is apparently already a hero?). Basically Falcon is getting an upgrade and, the original CA will be looking closer to his age and train him. Why can’t they just give Falcon more publicity instead? I know, I know, Captain America symbolizes America, or did during WWII, and he should be reflective of the more diverse and racially agreeable country. But, well, you don’t mess with the classics if you ask me. Like I said, I love diversity, but please, leave the heros be as they are. Because, after a female Thor and black CA, what comes next? 

    Wonder Woman’s change is much more subtle and following the ‘darker’ aspects of the recent Super Man and Batman movies. I think the new actress playing her fits the look, but I’m sure those who grew up with Wonder Woman’s show and such will think she can’t compare tot eh original. And, let’s be fair, no one usually can compare to the first. It’s like the Sound of Music where Carrie Underwood played the leading role; of course she couldn’t replace the original, but she did pretty damn good in my opinion. Now, I only have a few small issues with her. Her outfit, I like it. It is more Amazonian and fight-like, and less spandex. While she’s supposed to be, more or less, like a female Captain America, she is an Amazon, so I don’t see too much of an issue with a  costume change. Of course if they could’ve kept a bit more to the ‘original’ costume, it would please die-hard fans more, probably. The only small issue with the costume is that she looks a lot like Xena, but she’s Amazonian, too, so…it works. But her lasso of truth seems to be brown now. I don’t care if they’re trying to make it match her outfit, it ought to be gold still. It doesn’t seem so truthy with the new color. If it it actually a very bad picture and is silver, which some close-ups seem to show, I can work with that. So long as it is a metallic color, I’m happy. She has her bracelets, the eagle on her chest, and I do hope her invisible plane.

    I heard a rumor she could fly, and i hope that is wrong since, well, she has an invisible plane for that. She’s also wearing heels now, and that just seems a bit..impractical. But it could be worse.

      Yes, overall, I’m not overly impressed with these changes. The Wonder Woman one isn’t as bad as some are saying, and mostly they’re upset over the fact the actress isn’t as ‘built’ as they think she should be. And I applaud the wanting for diversity in comics, but…you shouldn’t change the classics for that. Add new characters. Build these new ones up so that they match the hype the originals have. Give new ones movies, comics, action figures (dolls), etc.

    Like I said, love diversity, but I like my classics.