I’ve been happy for a while now, but recently things have been tipping over one by one and negative thoughts keep finding their way into my head. But there’s something different this time which is making me rather happy, to be honest.Usually one of the thoughts to come at me is that “People have bigger problems. Look at [insert friend’s name here] or what’s going on in [insert place here].” And, yes, that has happened this time, only this time I realized I’m perfectly allowed my own negative thoughts and feelings, even if they aren’t the most healthy to begin with, they are still allowed. Sure, it’s nothing compared to other people’s issues, but its still allowed and other things going on doesn’t diminish my problem.
Honestly, finally figuring that out makes this drop better than others.
Don’t get me wrong, it still took a lot for me to decide that I will in fact still go to spring cocktail with my friends ( hey, it’s free) but having that little push that I’m allowed to be upset….somehow it helps. It makes my thoughts and feelings seem more valid, less like I should just ignore it, and not being able to usually makes me feel worse. But now I’m not worrying about ignoring these feelings.
While my lows are (thank gods) no where near anything that could be depressive as far as I’m aware and probably aren’t even the mild form whose name escapes me at the moment, this makes me think of the walk I was talked into volunteering for earlier. While I stand by the idea that walking wont necessarily help anyone, it’s still a good thing to bring awareness. There were different colored beads for people to wear for varying reasons: loss of a spouse, child, friend, parents, a loved one’s struggles, your own struggle, or just supporting. There were so many who had lost people or who knew people who are struggling when it comes to dealing with suicide and, I’m assuming, depression. Not to mention how many had the beads that showed their own struggle. I really can only imagine what goes on people’s heads with any of those things, and it all seems dark. The good thing about all this is that depression and suicide is a known thing, while suicide isn’t as studied as depression, it still is known. People, for the most part, know how to help at least a little. Less people think that people should pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and so on. Though, yes, there are still people who do, but it’s lesser. The ignorant numbers are shrinking.
To be honest, I think one of the most important things as a starting point is for people to notice when their lows hit. While I cannot claim to know more than textbook information and information from a friend who had had suicidal thoughts at one point in her life, I know that when my mood drops and when everything looks awful and all I want is to curl up in my bed and cry or sleep…I know that knowing my view is slightly distorted helps me. I know to focus more on the good things, or try to. I know what to do to get through that drop until it’s over again. Maybe for people who have depression and such things could be helped by knowing when their view isn’t entirely how the world is. I know cognitive therapy, which is essentially working to change someones thought process, is helpful for these people. Of course pills can help, too, but so can just working through one’s thoughts.
So if you’re someone who struggles with mild lows like myself or full-on depression or the milder, chronic form, just try to recognize when you are in a low. I know you probably do, but if not, can’t hurt to try. I’m not saying I’m an all knowing authority on this matter, as I’m not, and I know people have probably given you so many suggestions already…but just try it. And if that doesn’t work, please, find a therapist. They can help. I promise. Most depressive clients are able to get better and stay that way. So it doesn’t have to be a life long thing. These lows don’t always have to happen.
To Have an Open Mind 
May 03, 2015 @ 07:46:50
You might be no expert yet, but on your way there and it´s good to know someone like you is going to be able to help people with those things 🙂 It´s good too that depression and suicide are less wiped aside with ‘people should pull themselves together’ so much anymore, though it still seems to be something that only gets coverage if it´s movie or rock stars or other ‘people of public interest’, probably a lot of people, like you noticed with those beads, are affected, themselves or by knowing or being left behind by someone, and they all might need help experts or in the best case not but would benefit from helpful information and a climate where those things are not treated with ignorance or being kept under wraps. But probably it´s one of those things people tend to push far away from themselves as long as it doesn´t happen to themselves cause they just don´t really want to think about it or acknowledge that it could happen to them as well, maybe even that´s a thing deeply ingrained in humans and as ok as it is ok to allow oneself to be upset as you thematize here, I don´t know. But still of course even if not wanting to have to do anything with it, one shouldn´t go and banalize something that´s a big issue for some with ‘pull yourself together’-talk.
I see the main thing of the post is the ‘recognize when you´re in a low’ but to me there´s something else that stands out, the ‘distorted view’, I have read/heard that often of course as probably everyone, in relation to people´s body image, anorexia, gymn-addiction, those things, but never, or not in a way it stuck at least, regarding depression or suicide, but it makes much sense and seems a clear and ‘brief’ enough thing that one might be able ‘to take it there’ and remember, once in the hole and maybe that realization could help through the low or to get oneself out again. of course it´s one of the ‘things’ one ‘kind of knows’ when in a good or normal phase, and once in a bad one it might still not do much, but having a sharp term for something useful like trying to see things in the right perspective and scope can´t hurt.
It´s great you´re learning and doing something in that field and can help others and I guess own experience can help with that too, but of course I wish your own lows to be few and not deep and that you´re out of them soon always. free spring cocktail with friends sounds like a brillant therapy to me 🙂
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May 04, 2015 @ 04:17:44
Yes, unfortunately most of the knowledge if from celebrities and all when it is put into the spotlight. Most seem to think it can’t happen to them or those they know, but it can. And you’re probably right about human nature and wanting to put bad things as happening the unnamed ‘others’.
And yea, often that isn’t applied to depression, but calling it a distorted view at least makes sense from what I can tell. More so with full depression than the chronic kind but that, too, at the same time. I only say with the milder, chronic form that it may not fall under a distorted view category because it is all the time and even when they feel happy, it’s generally a shallow happiness. So a distorted view adds to that, but at the same time…it’s different.
Thank you, too, for saying you believe I can help others as well as wishing me well. Already feeling a bit better 🙂
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May 03, 2015 @ 07:52:15
as is moving in fresh air btw, I can only recommend hiking to anyone, no matter what the problem, it will always help, and now going to do that even if the weather makes the sofa and laptop look very attractive right now 😉
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May 04, 2015 @ 04:18:15
Yes, fresh air can sometimes be the best for a number of things, no matter the weather 🙂
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